My golden rule for life is best summed up by Wil Wheaton: Don't Be A Dick.
I think this especially applies in sports. You can be a fan without being a dick to the other team's players or fans. You can "hate" then without actually HATING them.
But I guess this guy never got the memo. Williams from Blades of Teal wrote an unoriginal, uninspired, mean-spirited, unintelligent "eulogy" for the LA Kings. In addition to being poorly written and full of questionable observations, he is also just a fucking dick.
There are 100 ways you could criticize the LA Kings. He doesn't criticize their power play that was nauseatingly ineffective all season leading up to the playoffs. He barely mentions Penner's glacial pace, nor the fact that Penner basically escorted Setoguchi to the goal for the OT win in Game 3 (FUCK I HATE THAT GAME). No reference to Moller's absence after a good performance in Game 2. No mention of Greene's stupid penalties. He criticizes Doughty for his beard and slashes instead of his ridiculous turnovers. (His BEARD? Really?)
Instead, he takes mean-spirited shots at certain Kings. For example:
Speaking of ineffective hacks, we remember you Jonathan Quick. Notso Quick, you did turn in a couple of beauties against the Sharks at the Tank, notably a shutout victory in Game 2 and a one goal against effort in Game 5—stopping a total of 86 shots over in those two games. But what about Games 3 and 4 and the 12 goals against?
Seriously, Notso, at what point did modeling your game after Dan Cloutier seem like a good idea? I mean, did Cloutier have something on you? Did that fir-trapping sieve blackmail you into letting him wear your gear and impersonate you on the ice? Did he lock you in Lamar Odom's locker?
Notso, you were the FUTURE OF AMERICAN GOALTENDING!…oh wait, that's still Ryan Miller. Nevermind.
Are you fucking kidding me? You're criticizing Jonathan Quick? He was basically the Kings' savior. If anything, criticize the defense that collapsed on him during Games 3 and 4. He is human, he can only do so much. Even my friends who are Sharks fans (and who, by the way, are 20000% classier than this asshole and could easily have written a better eulogy) sing Quick's praises.
He also went after Handzus, who PLAYED HIS ASS OFF, especially in Game 6.
We remember you Michal Handzus, mostly because every time we saw you on the ice we were trying to figure out when Scott Hartnell had been traded to the Kings, how we missed that story and when he started to suck.
In all fairness, when life gives you lemons…or clown-like Chaka Khan hair, you make hair lemonade. You made hair lemonade Michal, you truly did.
You're a fucking idiot. Yeah, his flowing mane of hair is out of control. You probably focus on that because there's not much else you can say using specifics about Handzus' performance.
But this was the part that truly drew my ire.
To Anze Kopitar, thank you for sitting in the Pierre Maguire seats at Staples and playing Angry Birds on your phone all game…and, for breaking your ankle earlier too…that one was clutch. It must have been really nice for some of your Kings teammates, covered in their own blood and sweat, to glance over at you grinning and giggling like a pre-teen who discovered that Joe Jonas just retweeted her.
Really? Thanks for breaking your ankle? COULD YOU BE MORE OF A FUCKING ASSHOLE? Putting aside tragedies involving actual deaths, that was probably the single most devastating moment of his life. This year was supposed to be our year to make a serious run for the Cup, and when Kopitar went down, it wasn't just devastating for the team or the fans. It was personally devastating for a player that always gave 100%. Don't glory in that, you asshole. Don't talk about it with glee. Even Kings fans hoped that Ian White was ok after Stoll hit him. If (heaven forbid) one of your players gets injured, YOU are the reason why.
Luckily, one of the Kings blogs has done an excellent rebuttal (far better and more specific than mine). As Quisp correctly says, Williams most definitely took the low road. And I think that, as sports fans, we are all a little worse off for it.
These last few days have been tough. Luckily- and I know this is weird- my friends from home (yes, the Sharks fans) have really helped lessen the pain. And they have allowed me, in turn, to take the high road and genuinely want to support their team through the rest of the playoffs. They respected the players, and they respected the game, and at the end of the day, it's hard to hate such great people just because they root for a different team.
So, Sharks fans, I won't judge you by the words of Williams or the words of Mark Purdy. Instead I will wish your team the very best. Good luck in Round 2. I'll be watching.