The Biggest Bitch Award

My husband is out of town and I don't really want to yell at the TV by myself, so I just invited some people over to watch the game on Saturday. They aren't really hockey fans (sidenote: dammit, I need to meet more hockey fans), so I gave them a little background on the Kings v. Phoenix rivalry:

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This game is going to be particularly fun given the bad blood between the two teams. The Coyotes hate the Kings more than any other team in the league. Last season the Kings decimated and humiliated the Coyotes during the playoffs, eliminating them in the Western Conference Finals in front of a Phoenix home crowd. The Coyotes goalie, Mike Smith, is the BIGGEST BITCH you'll ever see in the NHL (coincidentally, he may have sustained a "lower body injury" last night, just in time to avoid facing the Kings)- and is on the record saying that the Kings only won because the refs handed them the series. If there's any game where players are likely to just stab the shit out of each other, it's this one. Come for the beer, stay for the blood on the ice.

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Let's enjoy a little footage of the last time these two teams met.

Note: I'm not defending the hit by Brown. But if Smith is saying that Brown should be suspended for that hit, let's just all agree the refs sucked both ways- shouldn't Smith have faced more than a 2 minute minor (a minor that was cancelled out by the bullshit call on Brown for diving). Can we all agree that Mike Smith is the worst?

I freaking love that Scuderi jumped in and pulled Doan away. Scuds doesn't mess around with rookies- he goes straight for the Captain (even though I don't think Scuderi has ever, ever been in a fight).

Of course I'll be watching the Edmonton game tonight. And clearly I'm already looking forward to Saturday. I hope the Kings get their shit together in time to destroy the Coyotes again.

Game. Couch. Wine.

FINALLY getting to watch a game in real time. I usually cover it at @ProtectThThrone but I'm going to try something different- and cover it here instead- for 1 reason and 1 reason only: I just had half a large glass of delicious wine so I doubt my ability to keep things are under 140 characters.

Also things will probably be spelled incorrectly- a lot.

HERE WE GO: (new posts to be added at the top, hopefully with timestamp)

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6:36: You know what, this live-blog is not working for me. I need the instant validation of retweets and favorites! I'm switching to twitter. Sorry (who am I kidding, no one is reading this right now) - the rest of the game will be at: www.twitter.com/ProtectThThrone. 

6:35: I'm sorry. I'm too drunk to figure out the defensive pairs. Also, Stoll is skating differently than he used too. Less running, more gliding. Maybe the running style shows less on TV? I don't know. Maybe it's just been too damned long. And nicely done Clifford.

6:33: Oh Kopi- that leg drag just made me...<dreamy sigh> I love how you avoid going offside. #SoHot

6:33: This Toyota genie commercial is the WORST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

6:32: In addition to being a lasty-lasty, Davis Drewiske also is the team's hottest and least effective player.

6:31: Can I just say how much I've missed Jim and Bob?

6:30: Muzzin looks....slow. Not physically, mentally.

6:27: Sutter just ALWAYS looks out of place. It's one of the things I love most about him.

6:26: "Carter throws it down in deep" Yeah I bet he does. (Snicker) I'm so mature.

6:24: Doughty at start of this season > Doughty at start of last season. #Doughboy

6:24: It's ok, dude. I'd hold Fraser's stick too.

6:23: Clifford looks tired and he has ice in his beard.

6:22: King had 5 goals in the playoffs last season? Wow. I'm sure I heard that 100 times before but, you know, time and wine.

6:21: Wilson.....who? Jesus Christ.

6:20pm: Please. Stop using "forecheck" and "wrap around." I just can't.

6:12pm: Apparently this post is going to be one long ode to Scuderi. Even though he didn't mean to nickname himself "The Piece," he has really lived up to that accidental moniker. I don't think you can overstate his importance in the 2009 SCF (also Game 6) when he jumped into the Pens goal and made the clutch save to force a (ultimately successful) Game 7 for the Pens. And you certainly can't overstate his importance for the Kings Game 6. I mean, come on. HIS FACE! He'll find a creative way to win, be it by impersonating a goalie or bleeding his face off.

If you made one of those memes for Scuderi, it would read "I don't always directly win games but when I do it's Game 6 of the SCF."

6:11pm: Just re-watched the Scuderi goal from the last game. I love that he barely even smiled. It's like "yeah I'm pretty quietly magnificent at all times." What else do you expect from someone whose face indirectly scored 3 goals and caused a Game 6 SCF win?

6:09pm: I need more wine. 

6:06pm: Slow motion shot of Scuds sliding it into the net. Unbelievably wonderful to see. I *love* Scuderi but even I did not pick him to score the first goal of the season. 

6:03pm: God dammit. Mitchell and Greene are out. It will really hurt our PK...but maybe added incentive to retain Rob Scuderi beyond this season? Don't leave me, Rob! 

6:00pm: I like the two added shots of the Cup in the Fox Sports West Kings intro. Nicely done. 

Schedule

The LA Kings schedule is up.

(I am so excited that just typing that sentence took 4 tries because I kept spelling things wrong in my haste. Deep breath. Ok.)

This is GREAT because now I can start planning things!

I am very strange about planning things. As in...I have every single second of every day planned. It's not always written down, but it's there in my head. If I wake up with a free day (or even part of a day), I'll have it mentally organized in time blocks and tasks before I even eat breakfast. I've done this since I was a kid. At any given time, I'll have the next 6 weekends planned. A friend once told me that the difference between him and his wife was something like "To my wife, 'free time' is what's left over after you're done with everything you have to do. To me, 'free time' is what you have up until you're forced to start doing stuff." I'm most definitely in the first category- every minute is a minute that I could be doing something productive. Relaxing is what happens at the end of the day after I'm done with everything else. And if I sense that I'm not being as completely productive as possible, this will generate a range of negative feelings, from annoyance to frustration to terror to sheer panic. As you can imagine, this mindset serves me well at work, but not so well at home- I'll set time aside to relax, but I'll just end up doing shit around the house. That's not to say that I won't have entire evenings where I blow off my to do list and play video games- that's just always accompanied by a little thrill from feeling deviant.

So to me, the lockout was actually a pretty bad psychological blow, because it means I lost the 3 hour chunks of time that I used to set aside for watching games. Thank God the season is starting up, because I really need this. I just went through and blocked off every single possible time to watch or attend a game through April. It pains me to discover that I do have some conflicts, but I'm trying to move things around because god dammit, I've waited months for this. The season is too short to not watch every possible second.

One of the most exciting things about this season's schedule is that my sister and her husband, who live in Vancouver, are coming to visit in March on the weekend that the Kings host the Canucks. They've never really been into hockey, but I know they watched part of the playoffs last year, so earlier tonight I sent a family-wide email asking if they wanted to come to the game when they are in town. AND THEY SAID YES! In fact, apparently they are at the Vancouver Giants game right now. Has the world gone mad??? When did my sister start liking hockey? Is tonight their first live game? I don't even know what to do with myself. I will need to talk to her about this.

Anyway, back to the Canucks.

I can't tell if my favorite part of this is Stoll's jubilation or Luongo's sadness.

I just hope we get through the game without killing each other.  We grew up with a pretty good relationship until I turned 15 and became a bitch on wheels, at which point we fought for like a decade before I (hopefully) grew up a little. It doesn't help that she is the cutest, prettiest, fittest, tiniest, smartest, most amazing person ever.

I'm really excited about this season, and especially about making the Kings/Canucks game a family event. I'm also SUPER excited to see my Kings family again- I've missed you guys. (I hope all those links work!)

Ah, that's enough heartwarming stuff for one night- I hear a stack of dishes calling my name and I'm off to be productive. :)

Oh Thank God

Best way to wake up EVER. I wish I got news this good every morning.

I'm more than ready. I've had our classic hockey meal ready to go for months now- Trader Joe's spinach artichoke dip, blue corn chips, and Stella. Haven't had it since last June, but today I almost made it for breakfast.

Credit for this goes to Laurie.

I'm trying to maintain my euphoria and not worry about things like Kopi's knee, Quick's back, Penner's weight, and whether I can get opening night tickets. For now I'm just excited that the lockout is over. Worrying can come later. 

So...see you all at TSC for training camp? 

Lockout Blues

I tried to write a post about winning the Cup last June, but nothing I wrote came close to capturing my complete and total euphoria.  In fact, since then I've tried at least 10 times to write something- about winning, about the parade- and nothing is good enough to post.  No words, right? 

When hockey failed to start again as scheduled, I fell into a depression and just didn't feel like writing.  You know that Beach Boys song, Wouldn't It Be Nice?  There's a line- "you know it seems the more we talk about it, it only makes it worse to live without it."  That's how I feel about hockey.  Under any other circumstances I'd be more than up for talking hockey- but right now, talking about it is just a painful reminder of the lockout. 

The league and players have about 2 more weeks to figure this shit out.  The hopeless optimist in me thinks that a deal will happen, because there is no way that we will lose the whole season.  But the realistic pessimist in me just wants to roll over and go back to bed until next October.  The realistic pessimist in me also wonders what will happen to the players whose contracts are up this year- like Rob Scuderi? If he never puts on a Kings jersey again, I will probably murder someone.* 

So please, please, please, PLEASE make a deal and give us some version of a season. I just can't handle any other outcome. 

*Murder statement not binding.  Just kidding, nervous laughter, don't arrest me.** 

** I'm not kidding. I'll kill you all if we lose the whole season.